Souvenirs from my Cancer ‘Adventure’ - The Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth

Friends and family say they want the truth. But do they? How much of the sometimes incredibly rough truth do they want, really? And how much do you want to share?

When you are coping with a serious health concern or living with a chronic health condition, people do want to be there for you. They offer support. They offer information. They ask questions. And you want to answer the questions. You really do.

But at the same time, giving an update or answering the questions can feel tricky. Keeping your ‘cheering squad,’ which is how I refer to them, up to date is important, but you also don’t want to be that person. The who’s always the downer, who always needs something. The one who, when you see their name pop up on your screen, instead of ‘oh good’ it’s ‘oh geez, what now.’

The answer is different for each person and for each situation.

Try to take a step back and see it from both sides. You know where you are and what you’re coping with. At the same time, work to see it from the other side. How would you want to be treated? What would you want to know about your loved one? And when? There is no right answer. Each person will have distinct levels of comfort on sharing, and you may want to tailor the level of share to the person you’re talking with.  There’s the 30-year friend/chosen family deep conversation and then there’s the casual acquaintance chat. Probably different answers for each.

In the end, the decision is yours. But as I have been repeatedly reminded, the people in your life who genuinely care, do want to know.  And we’re not burdens, we’re people. Perhaps people with more needs than most, but to those who truly care, it doesn’t matter.  And I am grateful.

Onward!

For More Information:

How to Be a Friend to Someone with Cancer; American Cancer Society: https://www.cancer.org/treatment/caregivers/how-to-be-a-friend-to-someone-with-cancer.html

How to support someone with cancer; Cancer Research UK:
https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/family-friends-caregivers/how-support-someone-with-cancer