You Shouldn’t Be Able To Do What You’re Doing!

Surprises.  Cancer is certainly an unwelcome surprise.  But there are good surprises hidden on the path. Magnificent surprises, in the form of better, even astonishing outcomes. 

I know, because I was a surprise to my doctors.  We are more than our age, our gender, or our cancer.

I have been told over and over by a multitude of doctors, you shouldn’t be able to do what you’re doing.  But I am.

I am a survivor and thriver of  aggressive, Stage IV, Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma that invaded my chest and my spine in 2016.  I went from studying for my 4th degree black belt and running a successful small business to a walker.

We did 5 ½ months of intense chemotherapy, and by intense I mean every three weeks I did 96 continuous hours of chemo. Then we did a high dose, in-patient chemo, and after that almost a month of radiation.

I was pronounced in remission.  I AM HERE.

But as I continue through ‘the Adventure,’ I have also learned that my care teams’ assumptions and expectations about my life after treatment are not aligned with mine, and that disconnect exists because nobody asked.

When you look at ink on paper; at cold, raw statistical data, age, gender, type and stage of cancer, out of a glance at that limited information, comes assumptions and expectations for outcomes. 

A perfect example is whenever I meet with a new doctor or new member of my care team at some point during the initial appointment, comes the question, “so were you active before your diagnosis?” And candidly,
I used to get angry, but now I actually enjoy it, because my response is…”well, I was teaching kickboxing, studying for my 4th degree black belt, and running a successful small business, so yes, I would have considered myself ‘reasonably active’ before my diagnosis.”

And, invariably, their jaws drop. But let’s be brutally honest: if I was a 40 year man, no one’s jaw would drop. Before they’ve even met me, they have made assumptions and set expectations about who I am, what I want and what
I can achieve.  And those assumptions dramatically impact outcomes.

I know my care team does not want to give false hope, nor should they. But let’s begin by having the conversation. And let’s frame the conversation around goals, instead of limitations.

Imagine the amazing things that will happen when those goals are set together.